I never dreamed of having a home birth. It was not something that was ever on my radar. In fact, I didn't think I was the kind of mom who would do the whole home birth thing. I've had multiple people say "you're so brave" when they found out we decided to have Arden at home, but now I truly believe any low-risk mom is not only capable of it, but would love the experience!

Our decision started as a financial choice; our original provider required 100% payment by 36 weeks and was unwilling to work with us on a payment plan. With a high deductible to hit, there was just no way we could swing it without putting in on a credit card (not an ideal scenario). We started looking at other options and since I had Haven and Abel naturally and was low risk, we thought "what about a home birth?" I'm SO GLAD we did!

Halfway through my pregnancy when we started considering a home birth, my doula suggested we meet with midwives, including Carrie of Hatched to ask questions and get a feel for what making the change would be like. Clarence and I talked afterwards and decided to go for it. Here are a few things, for us, that make a home birth totally worth it:

• More personal care. I was not just a number in an office. I met with Carrie personally for each of my prenatal appointments and was never rushed in and out. She took time to get to know me and chat about life. Not only that, I knew she would be the one there to deliver my baby. It would not be a guessing game when it was time to deliver. Additionally, I have her phone number and am encouraged to text or call any time I had a question or concern!
• Being in your own home is so nice! I did not have to pack a hospital bag, endure a painful ride in the car to a hospital, stress about being sent back home to labor longer, get hooked up to multiple tubes/IV's, experience pressure to intervene if things weren't moving at a certain pace, etc. I loved the benefit of everyone coming to me! I was comfortable at home, had anything I wanted at my fingertips and could roam about the house in whatever way felt best during labor.
• I had a small group of people there supporting me and my birth. They weren't there dictating what I needed to do, but allowed me to labor and then assisted me whenever I needed it. It felt so intimate and personal.
• I got to move right to my bed after Arden was born and start right in on those newborn snuggles. Walking a few feet is way nicer than getting in the car and driving 30 min home. 
• Statistically, home births for low-risk women have lower rates of cesareans (5.2% as opposed to 31%) without an increase of adverse outcomes for mothers or babies.

Ok, let me get off my home birth soap box and actually tell you about Arden's birth!

Like all of my kids, #3 took her own sweet time coming. Though at 8 days past the due date, she was still the earliest! I went into labor around 3am on Sunday, April 28th. I'd had some contractions off and on over the past week or so, including Braxton Hicks, but these were falling into a regular pattern and I knew it was time. I was going to have a baby today! I texted my birth team to let them know and continued to time the contractions. Around 6am, I was starting to feel some fear and anxiety. The baby is coming....oh crap, I have to do this again. There's literally no turning back. There's only one way she's coming out. I asked Clarence to wake up (he's lucky I let him sleep that long 😉) and told my doula I was ready for her to come and help support me too. 

I walked around, swayed, and worked through the contractions for a little over an hour. Shortly after my doula arrived, my friend Tiffany came to pick up my kids. She had so graciously offered to take them to her house whenever I went into labor. Her kids are my kid's best friends, so I knew they would have a blast and were in good hands. I definitely didn't want them around so I had to hear "mommy, mommy, mommy" constantly while I was trying to labor. Not to mention, I didn't want to scar Haven, my sensitive child, for life. 😂

Around 7:30am, my midwife arrived and checked to see how far I was dilated. She didn't say anything right away and I walked back out of the room with whispers behind me. I told Clarence, "She's probably telling them I'm a zero". Come to find out, when she first checked, I was only dilated to 1cm, but as soon as she touched my cervix, I opened up to 5cm! 

The next few hours are mostly a blur. I spent a lot of time in the birth tub, moaning through contractions and trying to stay relaxed.

(photos by Eternal Instants Photography)

I got out a few times to go to the bathroom or lay in my bed, trying to find the most comfortable position.

Around 10:30am, I was standing and swaying when I felt a tremendous amount of pressure and a huge push. I yelled "she's coming" but then things backed off again right after I got back in the tub.

I spent the next few hours laboring in about the same way, in and out of the tub. Around 12:20pm, I got back in the tub and leaned forward into Clarence for support.

During a big contraction I felt a "pop" and knew my water had finally broken, which was followed immediately by a lot of pain as Arden quickly descended into position. I just remember gripping Clarence's arms and screaming as my body took over. My birth team later said they were very surprised at how quickly it happened at the end, because I wasn't showing any signs of going through transition, but as soon as my water broke, her head was crowning. 

There was a small break before another contraction came and I screamed as her head was delivered. Thank goodness for that small sense of relief for being done with the head portion! There was another short break and I remember asking what to do because when Abel's head was born, I was told to stand up immediately so the rest of him could be delivered. I'm not sure why that was, but was almost expecting the same during this labor. Carrie, our midwife, told me to just wait for the next contraction and then push. That's exactly what I did, and to the sound of my lion roaring screams at 12:28pm on April 28th, Arden Le En Wong was born! Her Chinese middle name means "Joyful Grace". (Fun fact: Arden was born on what would've been her great-grandmother's 100th birthday. This is the same grandmother I got my middle name from)

It's hard to even explain the rush of emotions that come over you. My baby! She's here! I did it! It's over! I never have to go through that again! haha. There is so much joy and pride and strength. 

Despite Arden being super active while inside me, she had a super short cord. Since I delivered on my knees in the birthing tub, she was behind me. I had to climb over the cord so I could sit down and hold my baby for the first time.

She had so much hair, and hearing those little cries made every second of pain absolutely worth it! We sat in the tub together while we waited for the cord to stop pulsing and then Clarence cut the cord and took Arden so I could move to our bed.

We were able to have a special time of prayer over her and thank God for a healthy delivery.

I had a second degree tear (same as with my first two as well. I found that it's not that uncommon to tear in the same place as before since scar tissue doesn't stretch) and after delivering the placenta, being sewed up, cared for, and the house cleaned, our birth team headed out. (Oh, let me not forget the torture of having my uterus massaged!! 😳😩) I had some bleeding that seemed to have stopped, but my midwife told me to keep her updated if it continued. Over the next few hours, I was continuing to pass a lot of blood clots. By around 5:30pm, my midwife suggested we go to the hospital because she was not comfortable with how much I was still bleeding so long after delivery. While Clarence was helping me to the car, I felt super light-headed and remembered Carrie saying that if I felt feverish or like I might faint, to call for an ambulance. Clarence helped me get seated while he called for one. I still felt fine (once seated) and was not overly concerned, but knew it was better to be safe than sorry. 

Clarence followed the ambulance with Arden in our car, while super-friend Tiffany picked our older kids back up and took them to her house again. Once at the hospital, it was believed that I had a vaginal hematoma which burst my original stitches and was causing the bleeding/clotting. They sewed me up (again!) which was a real treat and then strongly suggested I have a blood transfusion of two bags because I had lost a decent amount of blood. We agreed and after a horrible night of sleep, headed home at 7am the next morning. 

Though I would've preferred to stay at my house and not make a trip to the hospital, I'm thankful that we took the precaution and went and got everything fixed. The multiple needle pokes, second suturing, and extended recovery time were not easy, but are much preferred to the alternative and I'm thankful to those who helped me get well. I think the 5 days of bedrest and unexpected weakness were the hardest things for me. I was used to bouncing back pretty quickly after the other two births, and this was definitely not the same experience. I'm so thankful for a husband who took such good care of me and the rest of the family! He even took all three kids out by himself multiple times that first week! #rockstar

I am so glad we had a home birth and it was a great experience! My bleeding afterward had nothing to do with being at home and I would absolutely do it again (but I won't because we are DONE). I believe birth can absolutely be a positive, natural, empowering thing and that home births should not be feared. 

So that is the novel of Arden's birth. We are so thankful that our family is now complete! 

Abel's Birth Story

After birthing Haven naturally, we knew we wanted to do the same for Abel. We planned to deliver similarly, in a hospital with a family doctor we could see for prenatal appointments as well as postpartum. Unfortunately, there are no providers in Greenville who perform in this way anymore.

After some research, we decided to go to Greenville Midwifery for our prenatal visits and to also have them deliver our child, as midwives tend to be more understanding and supportive of natural childbirth. We still planned to deliver in the hospital, but we soon found out that the midwives had recently opened their own birth center. We decided to go to orientation just to check it out and were very impressed! The birthing rooms were like nice hotel rooms. Real beds, huge tubs, large bathrooms with beautiful finishes. All of this right across the street from the hospital in case we needed to go over there for some unforeseen circumstance. It just seemed like a much more comfortable environment to give birth. We were sold!

We also decided to try a different method for childbirth--Hypnobabies. It basically uses self hypnosis to help during labor. The first time I heard about it I thought "that sounds hippie and weird", but I heard lots of good things about it and figured I'd try almost anything if it would give me an easier birth! I went to the six weeks of class while Clarence stayed home and took care of Haven. Our doula taught the class and it was full of great information and helped me feel ready...as ready as you can be.

Since Haven was 10 days past her guess date, I tried to prepare myself for another long pregnancy. A week before Abel's guess date, I was laying on the bed during Haven's nap and felt a small leak. It was clear, and not a whole lot. I spoke to my doula and she said labor should begin within 24 hours if my water had broken, but nothing happened. No continued leaking, no contractions, nothing. While most people at this point would call their doctor or midwife, I did not want to be induced and knew that if I called, that is what they would recommend. Since I had no continued signs of labor, was not feverish, and could feel Abel moving regularly, I figured it was a false alarm. Still, this put my head in a place of thinking he would be coming any moment. This made the wait for labor very difficult!

The further past his guess date we got, the more sure I was that he wasn't coming. Every morning I would wake up, still be pregnant, and feel so frustrated! It was much harder this time to wait than with Haven. Also, increasing the stress was the fact that the further past the guess date we got, the more pressure I received to think about what interventions we needed to do to make sure we didn't hit 42 weeks. A week after Abel's due date, I started having random contractions, but nothing consistent. By the end of that week, I went into one of my appointments and let them strip my membranes. Kim, the midwife who performed it was said to have "magic fingers" and always put women into labor. Sure enough the next day at 41 weeks and 3 days, on Friday morning, my contractions started coming every 8-10 min. I listened to my Hypnobabies tracks to prepare mentally and tried to relax and wait for labor to progress.

Around 2:30, my doula arrived and I asked her if we could head to the birth center. I really wanted to get in a tub and labor because it helped so much during Haven's labor. When we arrived, around 3:30pm, I was checked and dilated to a 4. They only admit at a 5 or 6 so recommended I walk around the garden for an hour or so to try to get my contractions to speed up. I put on some worship music and walked with Clarence, pausing as each contraction came on.

Photo by Julie Byers

Photo by Julie Byers

As it started to get cold, we went inside and sat on a birthing ball and walked the halls. I asked the midwife if I could please get in the tub as the contractions were getting stronger. She agreed and admitted us around 5:30pm.

For the next 4 hours, I labored in the room, both in the tub and out.

As we neared 9:30pm, the midwife said she needed to check me again to make sure I had progressed. Though my contractions hadn't increased much in intensity or frequency, I was sure I had progressed because the labor was very similar to Haven's. She checked me....and I was still at a 4. I felt dejected and could not believe nothing had changed since 3:30pm. To make matters worse, I was given a choice; either go home until my labor sped up, or allow them to break my water to move things forward.

I was so torn at this point. I remember at the end of my labor with Haven when my water broke on it's own, how intense my labor became. Thinking now that I was only at a 4, I wasn't sure I could deal with that intensity for hours. Also, I felt that my water would break when it was ready to. At the same time, I did not want to go home at that point. After a lot of discussion, we finally decided to go ahead and break my water around 10pm.

Pretty quickly, my contractions became more intense. I laid on the bed while my midwife did some acupuncture and massage on my feet to try to encourage labor to progress.

Photo by Julie Byers

After only about 4-5 contractions, I was pretty overwhelmed by the intensity of everything and feared I couldn't make it through the next contraction, much less hours more of them. Later I would realize I was likely going through transition, but didn't think it would've progressed that fast. I immediately said "I need an epidural", which of course they don't offer at the birth center and I knew this. I didn't want to think of the logistics of moving to the hospital and how long it would take to actually get one, I just wanted one. My midwife and doula laughed to which I responded, "I'm not kidding." They immediately suggested I get in the tub. This helped a lot, but everything was still very intense.

Before long, I could feel my body transitioning into the pushing stage. I felt a sense of relief remembering how Haven was born in about 10 minutes once I reached this stage. What I didn't know was that Abel was a big boy and would not come as easily into the world!

I was kneeled in the tub with my head on the side, grunting and pushing with each contraction. He felt so close each time, but still was not ready to be born.

After about 45 minutes of pushing, my midwife told me to move onto my back so that Abel had room to exit the birth canal. I continued pushing and could feel it was time! My large, big-headed son had a much more powerful entry into the world. The pain was quite intense as his head exited, but then I felt a sense of relief once it was out. I kept pushing, but his shoulders were stuck and my midwife told me to quickly stand up and let gravity do it's work. I stood for a few seconds and out he came!

Abel Yong En (meaning "eternal grace" in Mandarin) Wong, born on Jan 30th, 2016 and 12:06am while "Lord I give you my heart" by Anthony Evans played in the background.

They quickly sat me back down and placed my son on my chest.

Clarence got to cut the cord and then hold Abel to his chest while they moved me onto the bed.

I got Abel back and enjoyed some skin to skin time while I delivered the placenta (such a weird feeling) and they sewed up my 1st degree tear (not bad considering how big we later found out he was).

After an hour of skin to skin and making sure I was ok, they finally weighed and measured Abel and we were SHOCKED to find out he was 9 pounds, 21.5 inches!

Haven was only 7 pounds 7 ounces and we thought he would be similar. No one was expecting such a beast :) He is big and handsome and we are so blessed with this precious miracle! We spent some time thanking God for a safe delivery and prayed for Abel's future.

Delivering at the birth center was a great experience. It felt much more relaxing and I could be calm knowing that I would not be pressured to use medical interventions I was not comfortable with. One downside? You typically stay only 4-8 hours after delivering. Since we delivered at midnight, we figured we would leave about 6am. Unfortunately, a nurse entered at 4am, about 45 min after we finally were able to lay down and rest and told us she would check Abel's stats and then we could head home. It would've been nice to get a few more hours of sleep, but on the plus side we went home and were able to rest in our own bed. I think the timing was due to a nurse shift change and it just made more sense to send us home then have a nurse come in for 2 hours.

My doula, Julie Byers, was great to have throughout the whole process and we were so grateful to have her assist us! Hypnobabies was a wonderful help during the early stages of labor, but once my water broke, I completely lost focus with the intensity of the contractions and was not able to return to a state of hypnosis. Each labor is different though and I know some who enjoyed a wonderful childbirth experience with it from beginning to end.

Just like last time, I told Clarence I'm not doing that again haha. Right afterwards, when it's all fresh in your mind, there's no way you can imagine doing it again. Still, it's amazing what our bodies are capable of! God created an amazing miracle in how He designs a body to grow and birth a child, and I am blessed to see how He brought our son into the world...and used me to do it.

We are now a family of 4!

All photos taken by Julia Elle Photography unless otherwise stated

It's a.....???

This morning, we did our gender reveal and found out that baby Wong is a....

 

As you can tell, I was super surprised!! We were not expecting a boy, but are very excited!

Here's a video my brother took for your viewing pleasure...

 

So many things!

As you can imagine, there are tons of things to update! Most of that has nothing to do with completed decor in the house. The fireplace is really the only thing we've done up until a month ago. Clarence built doors for the bottom of the built-ins that are amazing! Is he good or what?

And just to remind you what it looked like before...

We finally painted Haven's room in preparation for her big girl room. We're moving her out of the crib because...we are expecting baby #2 in January! We are so excited and find out the gender in a week.

Last night we painted a few walls in the main living area, though we still have quite a few left to do. There are three different shades of green currently going on...why? We want to unify the space so I've been on the hunt for a soft gray, which we all know is the impossible color!

Wall O' Paint Samples (I swear they're gray)

We ended up settling on Moonshine by Benjamin Moore. Here is an inspiration pic:

Source

It's perfect! Not too dark, not too blue. Just a great, light gray and it works perfectly in our space which doesn't get enough light. Two walls down...8 to go...I'll share when it's all complete.

I've also put together a few designs for the new baby's room. Since we're not sure if it's a boy or a girl, I decided to design one for each. I can't wait to get decorating for my new, sweet little baby! More to come!!!